Discouraged?

It seems that God has the most perfect timing...I should have known...

REWIND to a few months before Zig and I learned we were pregnant with Brooke. We were struggling with getting pregnant again - not understanding why our prayers weren't being answered. I prayed and prayed for a family and for the ability to carry our child, and it just wasn't working...
It was January 3, 2008, the day that our angel baby was due - I had taken a personal day from school to mourn and be alone on this day, unaware of exactly how I would feel. My Mom, knowing how heart-broken I was on that day, showed up at my door with a gift. It was a book called "Moments of Peace for the Morning." It was a book of inspirational thoughts and prayers to start your day. Like many people, sometimes the bathroom is the only place that I have a few seconds to actually read something - so this book was strategically placed in a basket in my bathroom, where I could spend a few minutes with it each day - or whenever I felt lead to do so.

When my Mom brought me this book, I didn't know that I was already pregnant with Brooke. I continued to pray and seek guidance from God through the waiting game - wondering if I was pregnant that month or if we would be starting all over again...again...

I'll never forget reading this book each morning, and sometimes in the evenings too. A few days before we found out I was pregnant, I read one of the passages and it seemed to jump off the pages, right at me. I remember it telling me to be patient and trust...and let go of the things that I cannot control - something I struggle with each and every day.

After I found out that I WAS, in fact, pregnant a few days later, the words from this book spoke to me in a whole new way. Not only was I brought to my knees in thanks to God with the positive pregnancy test in my hand, but now, words like thankful, praise, glory, eternity, joy...suddenly had new meaning to my heart.
This tiny book got me through the darkest part of my mourning for the baby we lost and lead me right into the most amazing time of my life...what power our Lord has!

FAST FORWARD to now...
We've been having rough nights around here... Brooke has stopped sleeping through the night. Not only is she up and down - awake a million times - a few nights in a row now, she has been wide awake for HOURS during the night. Zig has tried to help as much as he can, still trying to save energy to work the next day - but I've definitely been carrying most of the weight during the wee hours of the morning. I'm tired. I'm frustrated. WHY isn't she sleeping? What am I doing wrong? Is she hungry? Hot? Cold? Uncomfy? Sick? Defunct???

I've been snappy for weeks now! Snappy with Zig because I'm just SO TIRED! I know that all Mommies completely understand this...but I'm just not dealing with it very well. Being a Mom is hard work - I never knew how hard it would be.

So, when she finally went down for her nap a little while ago, I went to my book - seeking a little help... This is what I opened to...

"Discouraged?
Every morning, you have an option. You can either choose to be discouraged or choose to hope. This is an especially difficult choice if you have not slept well, are sick, or face a busy day full of challenges. It is a decision that remains in your power.

You can govern your attitude - especially when meditation on the God who can turn everything around for you. Your circumstances need not dictate your mood.

You will find that when you choose your attitude, you will be better able to affect how your day turns out.

Are you discouraged this morning? Put your hope in God. He will certainly bless your soul.

Dear God, with you the choice is easy. Help me to center my hope on you so that I will have a good attitude today. Amen.

Scripture for the day:
Why must I go about mourning...? Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. Psalm 43:2-3"

Proof that God is good? I think so...
My mood is changed...He has done that for me today.
I pray that he will continue to help me through the challenges now - and the challenges that will come with raising a daughter. I know I'll need him...A LOT!