Remembering the Good Times...

So many things have happened over the last week that it almost seems strange to be typing on the same blog site!

I ended my last post with such excitement about my supper plans with Leah and my weekend trip to stay with my FAVORITE MAN, Joshua...
My evening with Leah was wonderful! We had such great conversation about our babies on the way and just how much everything has changed for us. I don't think there was one silent second in the whole evening - it was nearly two hours until we got up from the table where we ate! It is so great to see our lives on such a parallel path... We grew up together on Edgewood Place, we lost contact through most of our middle and high school years, we chose the same career path that has given us the opportunity to become friends all over again, and now - we will have children less than 2 months apart. They will grow old knowing of the friendship that their Mommies have...and I'm so thankful for that!

I hurried out of school on Friday afternoon because I couldn't wait to get to Joshua! With my car packed for a weekend of fun in Milton, I arrived to a smiling little boy who was very excited to show me his new toys and his newest favorite Mickey Mouse video to watch! We played and played all evening - right up to tub time! We splish-splashed and made quite a mess in his Mommy's bathroom (which is exactly what Aunt's are for!) - followed by dinosaur pajamas, bedtime stories, milk, bink, and Bear. We put some more miles on his rocking chair until he finally fell fast asleep in my arms... I love him more than words could ever express!
Meg and Jason got back late Friday evening and we stayed up a few hours more just talking and getting caught up! I love spending time with them...

Saturday morning, we all woke up early, got Joshua his breakfast, and just before Meg and Jason headed back out for their adventures of the day, Nana (my Mom) arrived to visit with Hurricane Joshua for the day. Not long after my Mom arrived, we got a call from my Dad that my Grandmother had passed away.
After a long battle with Dementia, my Grandma Mary finally went home to Heaven.
Most of my family would agree that we lost Gram a long time ago to this disease...everything started to change when her memory left her. From the first Thanksgiving that she couldn't remember where anything was in her own kitchen, to the day that she couldn't remember my face - we sat with her through the best and worst of times. We knew her fight would end, but losing wasn't any easier.
My family from Massachusetts was able to be home for the services, and I was very thankful for some visiting time with them. I hate that we only see them when things are bad... I had a really hard time saying goodbye to them. I almost feel closer to them now - after going through something like this that we all share - it has definitely made us all a little tighter than we were before. I love them all...

Needless to say, it's been a rough few days. Meg and Jason were able to be home until this morning, so I got LOTS of time with Joshua and some very much needed 'sister time.'

My husband was absolutely amazing through this whole ordeal. From cracking a joke to change my tears to a smile at just the right time, to just being there to hold me when I needed to cry. I love him more now than I ever knew I could...

Now that everyone is back home, my Pap will need me more than ever. I am so thankful that my Mom is retired this year - she was able to spend so much more time with my Gram in her last year and has been the primary source of support for my Pap. He is a rock! I've never known someone so strong in all of my life. I hope my children will be able to know and love him the way that I do.

Going through this experience was probably the most difficult of my life -
Megan and I were so lucky to have traveled this far through life with all 4 grandparents still living.
I will continue to remember all of my favorite things about Grandma Mary - Zig and I are even considering using her name, or parts of her name, in the name of our child, especially if we have a baby girl.

Gram,
If we could chat, just one more time...
I know you would recognize my face.
You would tease me about the holes in my jeans or the flip flops on my feet while the weather is still cold.
You would scold me for the tears that I've shed.
And me...I would remind you -
That my favorite name you called me was Tilly.
That I loved all of the time we shared while I was in Nursery School and 1/2 day Kindergarten.
That you were the best cook in the entire world - and that I'm ready to jot down all of my favorite recipes!
That most of my childhood memories include you.
That it was ME who dialed 911 while I was 'napping' in your bedroom.
That I always loved the smell of your house.
That I'll never forgot how every spot of your house was always clean.
That I loved my Punky Brewster plate set that always made the Scrambled Eggs taste even better!
That I'm more like you than I ever knew...
And that I wish my children could have known you.
I know you'll always be with me...until we're together in Heaven.
~Tilly

I am different now - after losing someone so important to me. But I hope to always remember the good times, and not just the end of Gram's life. My family is the foundation of my being. I would be nothing without them.

If I can show this baby growing inside of me the same love that I have been shown my entire life, Gram would be proud...